After four grueling, fun-filled years, its finally here. Yes, college graduation is among us (in 3 days to be exact). I’m still going through the various life transition emotions and I am currently sitting comfortably in the anxiety stage. As the ceremony rapidly approaches, I sit around and think about how much myself and my life has changed over the past four years. Its only when you look back at a certain time frame that you notice your growth (or lack thereof). I’ve learned a lot of things about myself and I’ve decided to put them in a nifty list for you to enjoy.
- I am passionate:
I have the tendency to go into a shell and I often find comfort in myself and get a bit too comfortable in my isolation. In the off chance I do open up, I give it my all. I am very reluctant to tell people that I love them, because that’s a word that shouldn’t be said as freely as people like to use it. So when I do use it, I mean it. My dad once told me, “I tell you I love you all the time so you won’t forget it.” That made me realize just how much impact that word had. Whenever I give a part of myself to someone, whether its my love, friendship, loyalty, trust, etc. I expect for them to understand the weight that it carries. When I decide to invest myself into anything/one I am willing to give my all or at least all I can give. I tend to let my guard down and some of the time I will get burned. But, it doesn’t always end bad, I’ve extended parts of myself to people who were definitely worth it and I am eternally grateful.
- I am sometimes selfish:
Not in a “everything is about me” type of way, but in a way that I often forget that sometimes my actions affect other people. I have the tendency to get wrapped up in my own head, that I become clouded. Note to self: remember, every reaction has an equal and opposite reaction ( I guess Newton was really on to something with that one).
- I am a tad weird:
Weird in the sense that I march to the beat of my own drum. As clichè as it sounds, it is true. Once upon a time, I tried so hard to be what it wasn’t and it was exhausting. I realized that the type of people I’ve attracted by being something that I thought I should be were not the people I wanted in my life anyway. I have learned to be happy with myself and all of my idiosyncrasies. I love all of my curves and ally my edges…word to John Legend.
- Sometimes being truly sad is better than being fake happy:
You know how people say you should never let what’s going on on the inside show on the outside? Well, that’s all good until it becomes too much to conceal and you explode. I know its hard to believe, but I hate(d) showing emotion in front of people. I’ve always thought it was a sign of weakness and vulnerability, but I now find myself empowered by it. There is strength in understanding your emotions and sometimes telling yourself that it is okay to not be okay. I’ve learned that I don’t have to put on a show for anyone. In the end you’ll silently suffer and someone will make the mistake and say you’ve enjoyed it.
- I am who I am:
This may tie into the whole “I’m tad bit weird” thing, but you’ll read it anyway. I am exactly who I was meant to be. I’ve learned that coveting someone else’s life, beauty, or personality traits will only take away from my own beauty and greatness. Find beauty in all of you flaws. I think your flaws are what makes you uniquely you. Although there are some days I feel like Beyoncè and some days I feel like Solange, I am a big fan of the person I am and the person I am destined to become.